Sad and Disappointment

Wednesday, July 08, 2009, 11:56 PM


This week was not a very good week for me. Becos I was quite upset about my family members which I find that we are born to be selfish. That is also included me I must admit. Not only this but my Handphone was spoil. But one thing was good is that I can still use my old HP.

Whenever I was asked to do a favor, of cos I will try to fulfill if it was within my convenience reach as I know if they can do themselves they won't asked for my help in the first place. Ya I know helping others is actually helping myself to do good deeds no matter is friends or family, but what I find it sad is that whenever I just need a favor from them, WHERE ARE THEY?

I dunno why my mood sudden just drop and I actually find that I can cry when I today went to my Buddhism Video Guide. As I on my way to the place, my elder sis sudden sms me that she can't attend a play that I was involve in. Ok fine as she never promise that she will turn up. But I'm quite disappointed that what she has promise to teach me something she dun wan to teach. I mean is kind of putting me in a difficult position as I promise my members that I will help doing the pros and yet I was going to make an empty promises.

Earlier on when I invited my younger sister if she ever want to attend a play which I was involve, although she say she will consider but deep in my heart I had actually know the answer that she wasn't going. But I do hope she will come support me. In the end my guess was correct. She really didn't want to come. Is ok cos I know forcing people is kind of irritated.

Haiz...I will always be there whenever you need help, favors but when I need it, why am I always crying alone in my own world? Fine I recall always telling Jr that whatever you do,you cannot count on people. In fact in my whole life, whenever I need help or favor, most of the time is I count on myself to get it. Or rather exchange favor with my elder sister.

Haiz...having living for 20 plus years, I find that you really cannot find someone who will willing offer a sincere help or a sincere support from the close ones. Well I think I my mood is not very good is becos partly becos of the sudden death of MJ. Yesterday I watched 'memorial service' at channel 5 and I still can't believe he is gone. Although I'm not his fan but I used to listen to his songs in the early 90s during my Primary till Secondary 3.

Well hopefully tomorrow when I woke up everything will be fine. Ke going to zzz. Gdnite and sweet dream.